Your emotions color your experiences...so check your crayons! Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
Living in disorder or addiction is like existing in a room without air or light. It's time to change things. As I write & teach in this field, I must also walk the walk. It's rather like enforced self-discipline. However, I'm not complaining. Like everyone else, I've been through dark & light experiences in my own life & while it does take work to go towards or stay in the light, this is the way I prefer to pay the piper.
My patients & students come to know that there are 4 steps to self-managing, & while all are equally important, the order of progression is also important. Just like in the game of baseball, first base comes first.
We get out of all disorders or messes in the same way...climbing the same 4 steps, over & over. These include high level nutrition, heightened awareness or focus, thought & emotion managing & interactive self-hypnotic imagery.
But before any climbing, we must wake up....& then we can bring the steps of organization to all the facets of our problems & issues, including addictions.
When one area of a life is in disarray, you won't have to look far to find another. Disorder & stress go hand in hand, bringing imbalance to the mind and body. Addictions become the easy answer for managing the discomfort. We can grow to like, even love our addictions & like any other bad relationship, they can consume us. It is important to understand that while we may have genetic tendencies towards addictions, we do have choices in the matter. We can choose to stop.
Changing disorderly life patterns & addictions means giving up those dangerous relationships while managing stress in new ways. This is where most people make their mistake when looking to stop smoking, drinking, bingeing, etc. First order of business is to have a very good stress management program in place, one that includes the 4 steps of this program.
Managing emotions is key to managing addictions & disorder. From the time you were born, you have been developing your own brand of emotional-patterning. Some of the patterns have been heavily etched & are super-automatic. You may have mentored some of these from others, especially when you were very young & more sponge-like. At that time of life you absorbed everything, even if you didn't like it or agree to it.
A good exercise is to become aware of what you dislike, or what annoys you about your parents or siblings, then look for those tendencies in yourself. You can do the same exercise with your significant other relationship, or your relationship with your children. Try the same mind game with your work relationships. They will be there as well. It's not uncommon to be blind to one's own patterns, as well as to the emotional states that automatically attach to them.
Once a negative pattern has been self-embedded, it must be removed subconsciously. If not, the pattern will have a tendency to adhere to other experiences "in the moment" or even to future experiences..
Let's work with this example.
Suppose you are thinking about meeting someone you know. You have a history of being annoyed with this person's idiosyncrasies. In your present thoughts, your emotional state crayons are already engaged, coloring your expectations. Even if that person isn't demonstrating the irksome traits in the real-time meeting, you will probably find yourself in your old programmed mind-state anyway, responding "as if" there were.
Let's work with a different future-paced example.
Suppose you are going on vacation. On the last vacation you had difficulty adjusting to a non-working relaxed state, finding the vacation finished before you really began enjoying yourself. Even though your current vacation is not for some time, you are already anticipating this, probably playing it in the theater of your mind. This is a special kind of mind program called a negative expectation. If you play this over and over, you will actually pre-program enhanced mind and body tension. Other negative emotions may choose to join in with their negative color crayons. The chances of an enjoyable vacation is becoming slimmer with each negative mind-etching.
If you have been reading this blog, you are familiar with Knowledge Hooks. Let's program one here. Remember, because we have categorized the following in a special mind container, the subconscious mind will file it differently.
KNOWLEDGE HOOK. Working with emotional states is a skill just like anything else. We have emotions that work in a positive way for us & others that don't. These are often called negative emotions, but it's important to keep in mind that even negative ones also have their good points & can be useful in certain situations. You'll come to understand that these emotions can help to open the subconscious mind through releasing.
When looking at emotional states it's a good idea to know that there are hundreds of them. Few people can name more than twenty. . Some emotions are experienced as having negative high-power such as anger. You also have positive high-powered emotions as well, for example ecstasy could be considered in that group. You also have negative lower-powered emotions, for example annoyance & on the positive side you might consider the emotion of being pleasant.
Sometimes the momentary experience is about the choice of emotion & other times it's about the intensity of the crayoning.
Interactive awareness practice helps you to see the details & what is truly unfolding in the moment. How good are your self-observation skills? While most of us can name or describe our high-powered positive & negative emotions, most of us fall short when it comes to the lower-powered ones. This is most unfortunate because these are the emotions that hang around more frequently, coloring daily experiences & are usually the ones responsible for stress related diseases, as well as interfering with goal achievement. We often call them our personality traits, often believing that they can't be changed because "they are who we are."
This in itself conjures up some interesting images. For example, what would happen if one's anger, resentment & failure programs were diminished or removed? Would they evaporate? This is a living example of how "nonsense language" finds it's way into our subconscious mind programs.
Just imagine how much power you have given to your emotions over the years & still tend to give! Think about today. Can you locate any moment or group of moments forming a remembered experience when your emotional child-self was in charge & not your mature self? Sit back and view this happening on your mind screen? How would you rate this production? The library of your mind is filled with these experiences.
The good news is that if you have been following this blog, you know how to release these programs. If you have missed any blog entries, please click on the BLOG ARCHIVE LINK below. The entire blog is located there.
In future blog entries, we'll climb up to step four, where you will be able to re-edit old mind programs with future-paced images of what you truly want to have & experience.
Here's another KNOWLEDGE HOOK for your subconscious mind:
Most of us are not in touch with our emotions, especially the subtle ones. Emotions can present themselves in a clear fashion, making them easier to identify or name, or they can be muted.. Some trigger big physical sensations, while others tend to play under the surface, but they are there if you look.
Some are regulars and play on automatic pilot. Others are new to a particular experience, often surprising us with their outbursts and connected thought patterns. We can invite emotions through simple conversation, so it is important to watch your patterns.
As you begin to notice the emotions you entertain, you may be surprised. Victim is one of those that is so common place, it reminds me of the flu season. Pay attention to how people tend to moan and groan, even about simple things. Ask the next person you know "how they are doing" Don't be surprised if you meet up with the victim emotion. Listen to the tonality. It can be quite dramatic. Sometimes we dub this "drama queen or king." We all have it !
The more emotions you can spot, the better for you. Make it a life-game. Look for them in yourself, as well as in others. See them in a detached way, as children wearing tee shirts. Some work well for you, while others do not. Remember, they come in different strengths, so stay awake.
Playing with images in this way will not only empower you, but will help you in your relationships with others. When you actively practice disassociation, you separate the emotions in other individuals as well. Then you can program your mind to see the higher parts of that person, as well as the separated negative emotions, making it easier to handle conflicts & negotiations.
I now understand that I choose my emotions, my thoughts, my attitudes & my outcomes...Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
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