Sunday, September 04, 2005

Personal Hell Words...

The weak sinews become strong by their conflict with difficulties...Frederic Chopin

Related Words -
the hot place, infernal regions, place of torment

Even though we may not live in the devastated areas, as we experience the images on our television sets & in our newspapers, we often find ourselves in our own personal hell. Here are some quotes from my patients this week -
How can I think about my measly problems when people I see people struggling for their lives?

What does it really matter if I smoke or not?

This is no time to stop biting my nails!

Working to organize myself & my goals seems sinfull in light of what is going on.

I feel like a spoiled child who should be ashamed.

I can't enjoy any part of my life knowing that in those very same moments people are suffering.

I feel like it's not ok to laugh or tell a joke.

Nothing seems important.

My fears seem meaningless, almost as if I should shut-up about them.
I'm on a short fuse these days.

I can't eat without feeling guilty.

One minute my kids are driving me bonkers & the next minute I can't stop hugging them.

I keep having flashbacks from my childhood. I feel like life as I know it is over.

It's very easy to be dragged down into a tragedy, even though we may live thousands of miles away. The images we see & the words that accompany them are all triggers for our own subconscious mind programs, perhaps our own hellish history. These images & words can make us feel very uncomfortable, even guilty & filled with shame. There is anger & disbelief to contend with as well. Anger at others & strangly enough, anger at ourselves, sometimes even a desire for self-punishment. Why were we spared? And so, are witnesses to the fragility of life & how quickly things can change. We realize that we are simply not grateful enough for all the things we have, both big & small.

This continual pounding can be very frightening & at the very least, unnerving to the psyche. In addition, if you grew up in a dysfunctional home, or live in one now, your own emotions can connect with the painful images & stories, taking you back to your own personal experiences. Perhaps you will find yourself thinking of things that happened in the past & maybe those that happened a very long time ago. You may not realize why you are thinking about those things now, but once you realize that the mind works like radar & will work to bring like memories to meet the images on your television or newspaper, you can begin your own healing process.

Nurses meet up with this every day. It is often more difficult to be the relative of the sick & dying patient, than it is to be the patient. I wish I was lying there instead of you. I wish I could carry your pain for you. Perhaps you have also been in this position. This is a part of the grieving process & before the process is over, we must go through all of the stages, exactly as we are doing now.

Here are some of the things I suggested to my patients.

1. It helps to recognize the grief for what it is. Then one can begin to release it. Moving into action is the very best antidote. Simply do something for someone else & you own grieving process will move through quicker. You can see that happening now as people are sending donations or even traveling to the disaster area & offering to help.

2. Meditate several times a day to bring yourself back to physiological, as well as emotional balance. I suggest to relax the body deeply at least six times a day, at least for 2-3 minutes. I call this fractionation & it is a powerful way to break through emotional resistance.

3. Return to your own self-disciplines & enhance them. Be gentle with yourself, but don't go towards the emotional victim state. Listen for it & stay aware. Release it & move back into action. Living through disasters is an excellent time to become stronger & more resilient. Bounce off stories that move your soul. They are all around us right now.

4. Commit to being a better human being & citizen. Spend some time thinking how you can do this. For example, everyone can call their elected officials & let them know what they think about the way the disaster has been managed. One person, one phone call or email at a time can make a difference. Be a mover & a shaker. Row the boat. Speak up & speak out. This will build your own self-confidence & self-esteem while keeping you out of the victim state. Remember those affirmations of the other day.... I AM....I CAN....I WILL....I DID...FOR I AM.


I am a resilient human being. I wake up to powerlessness & activate my resilient bank account. ...Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht


Offerings for Publishers, Editors & Agents

Beyond Disorderly Eating...The Truth About Sugar & Bingeing & How to Stop

mindSCRABBLE...The Game of Programming Your Mind for What You Want

It's Time to Stop...Nail Biting - Book & Interactive Self-Hypnosis CD

Winning the Mind Game - A Total Sports Advantage - Book & Interactive Self-Hypnosis CD


Post a Comment

<< Home