Friday, September 30, 2005

What Employers Want - What Real People Need

All doors are open to courtesy....Thomas Fuller.
Self-courtesy, as well as courtesy delivered by others, is connected to optimum heath & performance...Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht

A few days ago I decided to approach my blog in a new way. Perhaps it will help my readers to know me better, as well as my work. I am not new to this & have actually been an RN for over 35 years, practicing medical & self-development hypnosis for just about all of those.

I work with & write books, as well as CD programs for two different groups of people; employers/businesses/corporate executives & then the everyone else group. The two groups are very different, having completely separate goals. However, when the employer or corporate executive takes off the business-related hat, they then move to the group of everyone else ,sharing the goals of that group. It's actually quite extraordinary to observe this in a therapeutic setting.....a true Dr. Jeckyl & Mr. Hyde.

Although I worked with these two separate groups through my entire career, their division became more obvious to me in 1983 when I was appointed the Director of Staff Development of a large gero-psychiatric facility in Delmar, New York, just outside Albany, the capital of New York State. My job description included training the staff, as well as reversing the employee turnover, absentee & accident rate that was literally ruining the bottom line of the corporation. I was also asked to enhance the creativity & employee performance at all levels. I also remember being told that it would be an added bonus if people were more civil to each other. It's interesting to note that I was never actually asked to do anything for the employee, but just for the employer. Keep this is mind because it is a very important point & one that shouldn't go unnoticed.

I spent my first few weeks meeting each employee, as well as observing & reviewing the programs already in place. Of course, everyone was on their best behavior, carefully hiding their true selves & secrets. I knew it would take time for the employees to trust me enough to allow me to truly know them, but I had the advantage of being a skilled psych nurse......I was an excellent observer of very small details, some even unknown to the owner.


Corporations, big or small, are like families. Most of them are dysfunctional & why shouldn't they be? And it truly isn't a negative thing at all......if everyone is taken under the wing & get's what they need to succeed personally & then can apply this to the workplace.

Think about it for a moment. Each employee was raised by different parents, walking different paths, taking care of themselves or not in different ways, all bringing along their own problems & methods of trying to solve them. Policies & educational programs within corporations are like the basic rules of the family. They are usually always about the over-arching unit & not the individuals. In the workplace, they are usually only about the employer..... the employee expected to fit into them, like a perfect puzzle piece. Little or no consideration is given to the individual needs in order for this to happen. This is a major crux & one that can truly upset the apple cart.

In this particular workplace, the programs or policies were also dysfunctional, as they did not take care of helping the employees to gain the skills or lifestyle behaviors they needed to be good employees under this umbrella. Certainly there was no room for becoming better or excellent. The programs or policies may have looked OK on paper, but they had little to do with what makes employees healthy & able to function at their highest levels & even beyond. They certainly did not build creativity, even for the healthiest employee.


If we look at the number of people in our country who suffer from physical or emotional problems, it becomes easier to understand why corporate life can be so difficult & why there is so much turnover. People are hired on their resumes, with little known about what is going on inside of them. Sometimes it is possible to see some past problems, but certainly not all of them & quite honestly, who is without problems? Certainly no one that I know. In addition, some of the most creative people are beset with problems, many that can be solved by correcting lifestyle behaviors. A smart corporation with good in-house education can truly reap the very best with just a few smart strokes.

As human being, we all pretend at some level. The more problems a person has, the more frequently he/she tends to move. Most of this mobility is not upward, but instead it is on the same level. That person has very special reasons for changing jobs. Everyone, including the problematic person on the move, comes to a new job with the hope that he can have a fresh start & believing that the grass will be greener on this side of the fence, but after several experiences, he does know that this is just a fantasy thought & so he must pretend even more, hoping to hide behind a better designed mask. There is tremendous fear of being found out & so of course, stress levels are quite high. It's interesting to know that 60-80% of diseases are stress-related & if one works or lives in a stress-loaded environment.....well you can do the math. It's no surprise that changing jobs is right at the top of the highest stress producer experiences, quite close to the death of a loved one.


I was taken aback with how the staff treated each other & as I came to know them, I was able to uncover the plethora of addictions, eating disorders, unhealthy lifestyle behaviors, emotional management issues, poor self-image, self-esteem, lack of confidence & especially lack of hope, all of these connected to the tone of the workplace. To me, the lack of hope was the saddest part. Many of the employees couldn't imagine their lives getting any better than they were & a large percentage truly believed that their life conditions would become worse. This wasn't just among those on the lower rungs of the ladder, although that would have been sad enough. I found it across the board & even into the board room. In nursing we call this the hopeless-helpless downward spiral & it not only causes illness, but it can kill. It can also kill the bottom line in the workplace.

In this particular situation, despite all of this being quite obvious, the employer wanted these very same people to be high achievers, to be creative, to stay healthy, to come to work on time & in other words, to be model employees to foster their bottom line. Talk about being lost in a dream world!


I began to design an entire new educational program for all employees. I called this the MindBody Fitness Boot attempt to make it a bit more appealing, like giving out lollipops in a doctor's office. I was about to bring in literally hundreds of new things & you know how people love change! I was going to need to get these individuals to be willing to truly look at themselves, to let go of their own self-cruelty & to desire change. For those of you who downloaded the first track of creativity, you have a little idea of one of the magical places I had to build for them.

We are all grown up children, some more mature than others, but most of us less mature than we think we are. Many of these employees were literally starving for some ray of creativity that would lead them to their own authentic selves. I had to help them take off their old belief coats, many that were placed there by other people. They needed new lifestyle behaviors, including healthy eating plans, deep relaxation & they needed tools to teach them how to think in new ways. That is when I designed all of the CD programs that are found on my website & many of which I will share with you.

My purpose is to walk you through a good part of this program & hopefully help some of you. I'm also looking for a publisher, editor or agent or can share this vision with me & help me to take it where it needs to go. One thing I know for sure......I fully intend to find the way.


Never, never give up. People are depending on you....Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht

Monday, September 26, 2005

The Realm of Heightened Creativity

We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men, and along those fibers as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects....Herman Melville

It's amazing what a fall or injury can do! For those of you who read my blog, you might remember that I fell off of my desk & injured my back. Last week I wondered if I would walk again. That thought truly bothered me, especially knowing what I know about the power of words, whether they be verbalized or in the form of thoughts. Luckily for me, I knew what to do & took care of it quite rapidly. My life work & passion is to teach others how to do this for themselves. But, I want much more for them.

We each have our own realm of heightened creativity. It's like a special city or place on our map of life. It is here that we can actively move past pain & problems & then into our own passion or desires. For many of us the roads to this city are unknown or completely blocked by old business, low expectations or thoughts of impossibility......negative fiction. But no matter what happened in the past, we can all go there. I know ithis because I've not only experienced it personally, but over the many years that I've been in the practice of medical & personal development hypnosis, I've had the privilege to witness this road opening over & over again.

I went back to work last Tuesday, just for a short day. It didn't take me long to realize that I'd changed in some rather profound way. Let me share a bit of this with you, because it does have importance to the changes I am currently making.

When one practices hypnotherapy, it is always a different experience with each patient, for each patient is different. There may be twenty who want to lose weight or stop smoking, or improve their memory or reduce their stress...and while the problems appear to be quite general, the person behind the problem is always different, thereby making the problem different in each case. Each of us has traveled a different road, collected different strengths & weaknesses that have etched a special effect on the generalized problem, rather like the problem had been soaked in an original marinade, perhaps for decades.

So Tuesday morning was like any other morning for me....but then a very strong & heightened creative part of me began conversing, not only with my patients, but with me. I don't know how much you as the reader know about hypnotherapy, but suggestions are usually designed "right in the moment" & come from the subconscious mind of the therapist. They are beautifully pin-pointed towards the specialized needs of the patient.

It happened that my Tuesday morning patients were all well-known to me & so I was progressing down their particular road when all of a sudden the focus shifted slightly. I found myself talking about unexpected accidents & the importance of the body & the mind being prepared to take on the healing from the position of an expert healer & not from the position of a victim. There was more urgency in the suggestions....All victim thoughts needed to be recognized immediately & removed right then & there. There is no time ever for hanging out in victim stuff. The patient I was working with in that moment happens to be over-weight & has been meandering on her path towards wellness. In truth, she is going forward, but rather just drifting along in a slow sing-song rhythm.

As I re-organized her suggestions, I became intensly aware that I also meander in certain areas of my own life & certainly can get into my own victim thing. My writing & the producing of my CD programs is one of those areas. Over the years I've written & produced over 350 programs in different genres to meet the needs of my patients & students. Whenever I send these out to mainstream publishers, editors or agents, I tend to hide behind rejections as if I'm guilty of something & then make excuses as to why I cannot find a publisher to market my work in bookstores, etc. as if this were the most important thing in my life......a true Sarah Bernhardt.

Unfortunately, or so I've been told, my work is not considered mainstream by many publishers, editors or agents....rather odd because I sell these very successfully from my website, in fact, all over the world.. I've been in my field for over 30 years & each day I communicate with hundreds of people who go to work each day, but suffer in their own silent jails. I have tremendous compassion for them, for while they are seen, they not truly seen or they are judged in a way that is unjust, perhaps even cruel.

Why does this happen & to so many? As I've studied this part of human behavior, I've come to realize that we are all so lost in our own lives, that we simply have no time or even desire to see the obvious in others. It can truly be a lonely world & because of this lonliness, small problems grow into big ones. These problems we can see & not only do we notice them, but we take the position of judge & jury...

We see fat people, anorexic people, compulsive & obsessive people, nail biters, skin pickers, hair pullers, emotionally weak or stressed out people, uncooperative people, alcoholics, smokers, poor performers, shy people, those who appear lazy & tend to sleep-walk through the day. We see people with latent talent who refuse to be motivated. We see frightened people, some who can't leave their homes & others who simply can't stand up & make a presentation at work. This is just a short list of what we can see if we bother to look.

While these problems & their solutions appear obvious to us as judge & jury, it is not as simple as that. There are underlying reasons for all of this & more. Much has to do with simply not knowing how to become face the problem, release it & then manage stress in a healthier fashion. These are things that should have been taught in childhod, but most of the time parents did not have the skills themselves & so there was little or nothing to pass on to the infant, child & teen. While sometimes psychotherapy is required, in many instances all that is needed is to uncover the blocks, bring the awareness free of emotion, release & then plant new images. So, my work is to work as detective along with the problem-owner. Then we are ready to free the guilt & shame & enter the realm of heightened creativity. This is where the good stuff resides.

I've come to understand & accept that the large majority of professionals in the publishing field aren't familiar with exactly what I do because perhaps they have no reason to know this. I hope you don't misinterpret this. It is not an ego just the way it is.

Back to last Tuesday. Just as my weight management patient needed to take off her heavy shoes that were interfering with the speed of her travels, I realized that I must do the same. I must also speed up....

Here are some of the things I've done....

1. I changed the name of my blog & will change the second part of the name every few weeks, as I open my work to more people.

2. I have uploaded all of my CD programs to my xdrive & will provide complimentary download links to readers of my blog.

3. I have made an extra-ordinary offer to people who truly want to learn self-hypnosis & apply it to the many different areas of their lives. If they purchase one CD or download from me, I will send them a full self-hypnosis mp3 session every month for one year. Unfortunately I cannot send a disk through the mail because I don't have funds or a grant for this, but even if someone doesn't have capability to burn a CD, I'm sure they can find someone to do this for them. I truly want people to understand the power of working with the mind & body, as well as opening the road to their creative realm.

4. I will utilize this blog & my discussion groups to teach self-hypnosis tools, techniques & applications & not worry about publishers, editors or agents. I'll simply go ahead & self-publish my work. I feel free now.
The link below is from my xdrive. When you click on the link you will have the opportunity to download the first self-hypnosis session for the development of creativity. I hope you enjoy it. You can certainly take this opportunity to build your own self-hypnosis library. Within a short time I'm sure you will find changes coming your way!

If you have any questions about anything, please feel free to contact me. I'm actually very user-friendly!

Beginning Heightened Creativity

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Recovery Words...

Truth be known, we are always in the state of recovery. Sometimes it's quite obvious & other times it's barely discernable, but it is recovery never the less... Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht

Related Words - reclamation, recoupment, repossession, retrieval, recruitment, replenishment, redemption, rescue

Two weeks ago I fell off the top of my desk while changing a cartridge in my fax......a rather silly thing....OH put down the silly word.... I'm not about to hide behind was a rather stupid thing to do. As a result of this extremely bad moment of judgment, my life took quite a few turns, some more major than others. I couldn't walk, I couldn't put weight on my left leg, I couldn't stand, I couldn't sit, I couldn't lie down.

It was quite amazing to have absolutely no where to go to experience even a moments relief. And so, I couldn't go to work, nor cook or do anything else. On a somewhat lesser note, I became "unblogged" which may sound like a small thing, but it was not. Writing my blog is part of my life, perhaps not one that sustains me in any financial way, but it is meaningful never the less.

My life changed in many ways over the past two weeks. I'm a different person now. Accidents change people. Active recovery changes people. Nothing about it is fun, nor would I care to repeat any of it. HOWEVER, it has been an excellent learning experience & in a way, I'm a better person for falling off my desk.

I'm now out of the acute phase & into what is known as recovery.. Recovery is an interesting word. Truth be known, we are always involved in recovery. Either we are recovering actively from something, or we are involved in designing a recovery plan for some part of our work or life. As a nursing administrator I've worked on many potential disaster or recovery committees. As a wife & mother, I do the same at home.

Recovery begins long before any episode that may or may not happen. We have a ongoing mind folder that is labeled disaster plan or recovery plan. Some of us do understand this folder very well, perhaps because we have actually lived through disasters & found the weaknesses in our programs. Those weaknesses became our motivators.....we listened well, accepted our errors & became creative in not only correcting, but making things much better than before. In case you are wondering, I now have a mind folder for changing the ink jet in my fax machine. To be sure, the plan is very different from the one I carried out.

It does help to make mistakes. This is how we get better, but. some lessons are definitely harder than others. The people in who were hit by Katrina & now Rita know plenty about this. When all is said & done, these people will be very different in many ways. Children become adults overnight, seeing & experiencing things that are not meant for their eyes or psyches. Trust is lost, perhaps never to be gained again. Laughter, abandonment & pure joy will be more difficult to find & perhaps feeling wrong for a very long time. This is all part of the grieving process, some of which will never end.

So, what do we do in order to find & accept a new normal? If you have faith in a Higher Power, turn to that for solace, as well as for direction & motivation to get moving again. Take your mountainous problems & break them into smaller, more manageable pieces. For me, it is one baby step at a time.

I must put my old life on a back burner & work towards my new normal, knowing that once I've achieved that, then I'll be ready to go up a few pegs, hopefully nearer to my old normal OR even better. I stop moaning about what I can't do & do what I can. I trust in my body. I've taken good care of it for a very long time & now is the time to reap the benefits of that work. If you are not caring for yourself at optimum levels, begin today. You never know when you might do something stupid without thinking. Work on paying attention to what you do. We are all vulnerable.

Don't let the levies remain weak. I was just listening to the news about the levies in Galveston & I couldn't believe my ears. Some of them are cracked & very vulnerable! How could this have been ignored. Hurricanes happen.........accidents happen! Be prepared. Take good care of yourself & your environment. Fight, fight, fight. Don't be a quiet observer. You may live to regret it. Once you fall off the desk, the rest is history. Lucky for me my levies were in good condition from years of excellent self-maintenance. Yes, I'm injured, but I'm going to recover & hopefully to be much better than before.

Victims usually don't happen overnight. Take time today to check in on yourself. Where are you weak? What do you need to do? What will you do today? Do it now.


I have active recovery plans for different areas of my life. I stay alert & awake to what needs to change. I don't just think about it.....I do it & I do it now. ...Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht

Offerings for Publishers, Editors & Agents

Beyond Disorderly Eating...The Truth About Sugar & Bingeing & How to Stop

mindSCRABBLE...The Game of Programming Your Mind for What You Want

It's Time to Stop...Nail Biting - Book & Interactive Self-Hypnosis CD

Winning the Mind Game - A Total Sports Advantage - Book & Interactive Self-Hypnosis CD

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Personal Hell Words...

The weak sinews become strong by their conflict with difficulties...Frederic Chopin

Related Words -
the hot place, infernal regions, place of torment

Even though we may not live in the devastated areas, as we experience the images on our television sets & in our newspapers, we often find ourselves in our own personal hell. Here are some quotes from my patients this week -
How can I think about my measly problems when people I see people struggling for their lives?

What does it really matter if I smoke or not?

This is no time to stop biting my nails!

Working to organize myself & my goals seems sinfull in light of what is going on.

I feel like a spoiled child who should be ashamed.

I can't enjoy any part of my life knowing that in those very same moments people are suffering.

I feel like it's not ok to laugh or tell a joke.

Nothing seems important.

My fears seem meaningless, almost as if I should shut-up about them.
I'm on a short fuse these days.

I can't eat without feeling guilty.

One minute my kids are driving me bonkers & the next minute I can't stop hugging them.

I keep having flashbacks from my childhood. I feel like life as I know it is over.

It's very easy to be dragged down into a tragedy, even though we may live thousands of miles away. The images we see & the words that accompany them are all triggers for our own subconscious mind programs, perhaps our own hellish history. These images & words can make us feel very uncomfortable, even guilty & filled with shame. There is anger & disbelief to contend with as well. Anger at others & strangly enough, anger at ourselves, sometimes even a desire for self-punishment. Why were we spared? And so, are witnesses to the fragility of life & how quickly things can change. We realize that we are simply not grateful enough for all the things we have, both big & small.

This continual pounding can be very frightening & at the very least, unnerving to the psyche. In addition, if you grew up in a dysfunctional home, or live in one now, your own emotions can connect with the painful images & stories, taking you back to your own personal experiences. Perhaps you will find yourself thinking of things that happened in the past & maybe those that happened a very long time ago. You may not realize why you are thinking about those things now, but once you realize that the mind works like radar & will work to bring like memories to meet the images on your television or newspaper, you can begin your own healing process.

Nurses meet up with this every day. It is often more difficult to be the relative of the sick & dying patient, than it is to be the patient. I wish I was lying there instead of you. I wish I could carry your pain for you. Perhaps you have also been in this position. This is a part of the grieving process & before the process is over, we must go through all of the stages, exactly as we are doing now.

Here are some of the things I suggested to my patients.

1. It helps to recognize the grief for what it is. Then one can begin to release it. Moving into action is the very best antidote. Simply do something for someone else & you own grieving process will move through quicker. You can see that happening now as people are sending donations or even traveling to the disaster area & offering to help.

2. Meditate several times a day to bring yourself back to physiological, as well as emotional balance. I suggest to relax the body deeply at least six times a day, at least for 2-3 minutes. I call this fractionation & it is a powerful way to break through emotional resistance.

3. Return to your own self-disciplines & enhance them. Be gentle with yourself, but don't go towards the emotional victim state. Listen for it & stay aware. Release it & move back into action. Living through disasters is an excellent time to become stronger & more resilient. Bounce off stories that move your soul. They are all around us right now.

4. Commit to being a better human being & citizen. Spend some time thinking how you can do this. For example, everyone can call their elected officials & let them know what they think about the way the disaster has been managed. One person, one phone call or email at a time can make a difference. Be a mover & a shaker. Row the boat. Speak up & speak out. This will build your own self-confidence & self-esteem while keeping you out of the victim state. Remember those affirmations of the other day.... I AM....I CAN....I WILL....I DID...FOR I AM.


I am a resilient human being. I wake up to powerlessness & activate my resilient bank account. ...Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht


Offerings for Publishers, Editors & Agents

Beyond Disorderly Eating...The Truth About Sugar & Bingeing & How to Stop

mindSCRABBLE...The Game of Programming Your Mind for What You Want

It's Time to Stop...Nail Biting - Book & Interactive Self-Hypnosis CD

Winning the Mind Game - A Total Sports Advantage - Book & Interactive Self-Hypnosis CD
Powerless Words...

Only a strong tree can stand alone...Arnold Glasow

Related Words - Powerless - helpless, impotent, inactive, inert, passive, supine; decrepit, feeble, infirm, weak, incapable, incompetent, ineffective, unfit

Just sitting here & reading the related words to powerlessness depletes me. It's so easy to notice how powerful language can be & especially when coupled with past experiences & negative suggestions from others. It certainly isn't difficult to become self-paralyzed.

I turn on the television & see the such difficult images coming out of areas devastated by hurricane Katrina. Then I notice those individuals that are showing strength & conviction. They are truly I listen to their words, I'm reminded that we get our muscle from beliefs that reside inside our selves, as well as from beliefs that reside inside others.

I read my email messages & find them filled with people feeling powerless about this, that or the other. My patient schedule for tomorrow reports the same. I look at my desk, wondering if the projects sitting there will ever be completed. My own brand of powerless- thinking. How easy it is to be lost in this quagmire. Yes, it helps to remind myself that my life is good today. I could be spending the day standing on my roof waiting to be rescued. This kind of awareness works, but just for the moment.

I need something much more to nibble away at this old automatic pilot thought pattern. I take some time just for me even though my desk looms large in front of me. I've been around long enough to know how deadly powerlessness can be & so I must give the time to the priority of the moment, even though my child-self wants to do other things. Do we have any chocolate ice cream? When do we get to go home? Can we have pizza for dinner? I'll feel better if I take a nap. Can I read that catalog & order something? I don't want to go to school tonight. Perhaps just one cup of coffee?

It's not uncommon to be visited by the addictions or other stress-release mechanisms, most of which are not healthy. But when I notice their arrival, I'm even more certain that it is time to relax deeply & touch base with my inner strengths or core-Self. True, I don't live in the area hit by Katrina, but my mind & body are responding in a sympathetic dance to the images. I can feel my own paralysis, much of which is connected to memories of when I was in very difficult situations that I perceived as helpless & hopeless.

It's no accident that I was remembering an entire decade that I lost to a chronic illness. The images were so vivid AS IF it were happening right now. I was reliving the fear of dying along with the exhaustion of living, just as if I was clinging onto one of those roofs. This is how the mind works & this is why it is so very important to wake-up to what's going on & to set things in better order.

One might say that it's normal to react like this. After all, it is a terrible tragedy. I would say that it is better to if I handle my emotions in a way that releases negative stress chemicals, for there is nothing positive about that. Then, I'm free to move into a position of strength & compassion....set for action.

We all have areas of strength located in the library of our mind. These areas were constructed right from the beginning....birth. If you have ever been witness to an actual birth, I'm sure you would agree that the infant shows incredible power & tenacity as she/he moves through the birth canal. This definitely isn't for wimps! Each & every day the infant becomes more & more resilient, surmounting all sorts of challenges from day one.

It's a good idea to think about your own resilience bank account, paying attention to all of the times you survived your experiences. Of course, all of them weren't huge like my decade long illness or standing on a roof after a hurricane, but they are survivals never the less & you do have a resilience bank account. This is your equity when powerlessness comes knocking at the door.

As I visit this area in my mind, I physically tune into the accumulated resilience, allowing it to enter my being. In the practice of hypnosis it is very important to foster positive, chemical changes in the body. On occasion, we may foster negative chemical changes, but only for very special reasons & never for a long period of time. For example, I can visit an experience when I made myself sick from over-eating chocolate. I may decide to visit or sense the nausea, just to wake myself up to what will happen if I do the same thing again.

Yes, this is a form of resilience & I'm sure you all have similar memories that you could choose to visit. However, stick to your positive survival power & save the negatives for when you need a shot of motivation that only that negative can provide.
Once you feel your inner strength or resilience, take it back into the moment or future-pace it. It's like a postage stamp. You can take it & place it wherever you might need it. Truly sense it in those moments. This is what people do when faced with tremendous tragedy or difficulty. They go & round up their beliefs & resilience. The affirmations go like this. As you repeat these, truly feel them entering your mind, as well as your body.....I AM. I CAN. I WILL. I DID. I AM.


I am a resilient human being. I wake up to powerlessness & activate my resilient bank account. ...Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht

Offerings for Publishers, Editors & Agents

Beyond Disorderly Eating...The Truth About Sugar & Bingeing & How to Stop

mindSCRABBLE...The Game of Programming Your Mind for What You Want

It's Time to Stop...Nail Biting - Book & Interactive Self-Hypnosis CD

Winning the Mind Game - A Total Sports Advantage - Book & Interactive Self-Hypnosis CD

Monday, August 29, 2005

New Beginning Words...

Begin. To have commenced is half the deed. Half yet remains; Begin again on this and thou wilt finish all...Ausonius

Related Words - resume, continue, pick up, reopen, recommence, renew, reopen, take up

Labor Day & back to school....It's that special time of year for beginning again, children or not. For me, this date has always been a restarting point for things unfinished....rather like New Year's Day. Labor Day is a bit different though. There is no new resolution. It's more like a personal fall cleaning up or clearing out. Underneath the disorder I can sense my desire & willingness to pick up where I left off.

For some reason, Labor Day has a gentler, friendlier restart button. Perhaps it's because no one talks about it very much, so the fear of being criticized for failure or not achieving is less. After all, it's not a resolution or anything. It's simply something that was left unfinished & perhaps no one will even notice that you restarted whatever it is.

Truth be known, very little gets finished in life.... at least in my life. For me that includes managing my weight, minimizing my pile of magazines, completing my writing assignments, my love for icing, or having my home dust free & the bathrooms completely clean. I'm so glad to know this because then now I can stop efforting & striving over so many things. Perhaps I can even begin enjoying them.

It's easy to see why I had spent a good part of my previous life bogged down, almost to the point of burnout. With my new definition, I am free to simply relax, picking up any challenge where I left it untended, no longer racked by shame or guilt. No need to hide anymore, from myself or the judging eyes of others. What a relief !

As a clinical hypnotherapist & writer, I'm geared to thinking within hypnotic metaphor. Here are some areas in my mind that had something to say to me this morning...

1. It's a good idea to put some things down for awhile. As I mentally walked through the areas of my life, noticing what was left unattended, I couldn't help but notice that some areas were doing better on their own since I left them alone. I'm not surprised, acknowledging that I have a tendency to beat things to death, or smother them with attention if they are not responding in the way I think best. Sometimes I can become breathless in the process, even if there is no aerobic activity involved. Talk about efforting !

2. There are 24 hours in a day & that includes 8 that should be dedicated to sleep. No one gets more or less. I'm just like anyone else with owning too much to do. On the days I can't breathe I know I'm in trouble. For some deep & hidden reason, this a big learning curve for me.

I have some ideas about why this is, but what is truly important is waking up to it & getting practical. I don't have to look far to know what has to go. It's vital for me to be ruthless in my clearing & cleaning, not just with my possessions, but with the intangibles as well. This is never easy, but it is incredibly rewarding. Even throwing away socks with holes can seem like a break-through moment.

3. Choosing what is truly important to me can focus my mind. Just like cleaning & clearing is vital, so is deciding on exactly what I want. It's amazing that we can have so much of so many things & still not have what we want. How does this happen? For me, it's always been about not clearly defining what I want. In order to do this, it's necessary to truly slow down, to clear, to be still & then to begin to define. When I work with myself I utilize automatic writing. For my patients, it's easy to go into the workshop of the mind with guided imagery, enter the metaphor, perhaps shopping for the details. In both scenarios, the subconscious mind joins in the creative goal building & then sets a plan of action.

4. I can always be healthier. Eating correctly for my body needs, excercising, managing my addictions & a host of other areas can all benefit from beginning again. Exploring ways to do this always triggers additional areas to present themselves. This morning I was having a look at my nutritional areas when I heard from my skin department. When we become purposefully still, either in meditation, hypnosis or automatic writing, the messages begin to flow, but never in a way of becoming overwhelmed. The subconscious mind understands the need for balance or homeostasis & takes one towards that. If anxiety is in the way, it simply means that you have to release & go deeper down to pass that obstruction.

5. I don't have to be perfect. I just need to be present. Growing up in a critical household, I developed many automatic mind programs about the need for perfection. This was one of many that kept me locked in my personal prison for decades. For me, it is very important to begin the mangement of these automatic programs over & over again. This is how they weaken or diminish. Some of mine that could do with some refreshing or clear eyes include approval seeking & self-doubting. Do I have others? Of course I do. I'm human. But, once again the subconscious mind is kind & prefers balance. When we take the initiative to work in one area, the others will simply follow suit.

So, enjoy Labor Day....a perfect day for reflection & an opportunity to wake-up & enjoy the fresh air that surrounds new beginnings.


Everything is in process. I put things down & I pick things up. I enjoy the act of beginning again. ...Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht


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Winning the Mind Game - A Total Sports Advantage - Book & Interactive Self-Hypnosis CD

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Critical Words...

Blessed is the man who can take bricks thrown at him & build a sound foundation....Tom Pryor

Related Words - captious, carping, caviling, cavillous, censorious, critic, faultfinding, hypercritical, overcriticaldiscerning, discriminating, penetrating; finicky, fussy, particular; belittling, demeaning, disparaging, humbling, lowering.

Over the past few days I found myself journaling about criticism...self-delivered & delivered by others. I learned from one of my patients that Gemini was in retrograde or something like that, meaning that communication is off. Of course this made me feel better immediately, knowing I had little to do with all the criticism floating around me.

Automatic writing or journaling is very helpful for me personally & I often recommend it to my patients as well, even if they balk about writing. The balking is usually fear-related. Yes, writing is committing ink to paper....or at least it was in the past. I still journal with real paper & pen. It helps to slow the mind down, allowing the images or ideas to form.

After so many years of working in this field, I'm still amazed at how the subconscious mind will cooperate with emotional reframing & healing. Sometimes all I really need is a good metaphor to manage my heavy-air days.

As I broached the subject of critical words, here are some things that came off of my pen....delivered directly from my subconscious mind.

1. Criticism can be a good thing, even if the person delivering it does not mean it as such.....myself included. Of course we are our biggest critic. That's no secret. I'm also well aware of constructive vs destructive criticism. However, I often have a problem with accepting the term constructive criticism, especially when it is delivered in what appears to be a destructive way. Or, is this just a matter of Gemini in retrograde?

2. It doesn't really matter if the criticism is constructive or destructive, nor if Gemini is having a problem or not. I can benefit from all of it... & if there is plenty of it around, it follows that I would could have a wealth of benefits, if I just did what I needed to do. Hmmm....

3. The subconscious mind often connects things in strange ways in order to make it's point. I was brought back to my time of nursing in Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center & to the memory of debriding wounds. Wounds cannot heal properly until the dead or infected tissue is removed, often speck by speck. The job of the wound care nurse is to utilize different techniques to achieve this. However, it cannot be done all at once. It is a process, sometimes taking months, depending on the depth or complexity of the wound. The metaphor is forming....

4. Emotional wounds are similar to physical ones. They must also be debrided. Criticism is like pouring acid into certain emotional wounds. Anyone who has experienced this phenomena is certainly familiar with the combination of physical & emotional pain that results. I know that I am....

5. Many of us were born into a very critical environments, thus making us highly sensitive to critical words. Simple words, even if delivered in a constructive way, can be very frightening & debilitating. As a child I had no power & had to develop ways to survive this type of environment, but as an adult I do have power & so it is my responsibility to debride mywounds so I can heal & continue my self-growth.

6. Managing stress is not the same as debriding wounds. While it is very important to eat correctly, meditate, exercise & practice mindfulness, if I truly want to heal & manage my emotions at higher levels, I must be willing to cleanse & debride my wounds.

7. Emotional wounds are debrided through awareness & timely releasing. When criticism is painful, there is a wound that needs to be cleaned. The process is simple, but not always easy. I remember that when treating a patient's wound, I'd often tell them, Yes, it hurts & no, it won't hurt forever. I remember....the patient learns to bring his/her attention to the breath & to ride it, just like riding gentle waves in the sea. The physical pain begins to move to the side & then diminishes. The patient learns to see/sense the wound healing from the bottom up.

8. The same holds true for emotional healing. As the wound heals from the bottom up, the mind will often send fragments of the debris. These may be in the form of old memories or emotions that need to be released. Opening & healing is now in process...

More About Criticism & Connected Conflicts...

There are other things that are helpful for me to remember. First off the bat, conflicts & criticism are inevitable, as long as I'm willing or interested in standing up for what I believe are my rights or beliefs.

It does help to simply the actual word conflict or criticism. The subconscious meaning of words can be so powerful as to disallow any scrutiny because of the attached, automatic mind fear patterns. Conflicts are simply two sets of demands, goals or motives that appear to be incompatible. I must remind myself that I deal with conflicts all day long. Some might be small & I may not even label these as conflicts, but they are nevertheless. This is a very important awareness because as I view them under the conflict or criticism label, I'll come to know that I have been developing excellent resolution skills for a very long time, some actually from early childhood.

Conflicts & accompanying criticisms come in sizes including small, medium & large. Some are more uncomfortable than others. The more uncomfortable tend to be connected to deeper wounds or more sensitive areas in the subconscious mind. Keep in mind that these are very valuable as debriding tools.

The conflicts or critiques I play in the theater of my mind tend to be more frequent & often larger. It's important for me not to forget that these also effect my body physiology & bring more debris to old, deep wounds. Engaging the thought process in awfulizing is a very bad habit & one that can have serious physical & emotional consequences.

This happens to be one of my habits & so I've asked my own subconscious mind to wake me when I'm doing this, so I have the opportunity to break the habit & release the stress. At the same time, I'll take advantage of the self-criticism & do a very more steps to debride any old wounds.

Simple Metaphors for Managing Criticisms...

Here's one I utilize for myself quite often. When someone is critical of me, I change those words in my mind. They are critical of something I've done. This simply means that we have a difference of opinion about this something. That is easier for me to accept & curbs the production of stress chemicals. Remember, I was born into a very critical environment, so I am very sensitive.

Next, in the theater of my mind, I take the "something" & rinse it off under my very beautiful golden faucet. I want to remove the emotional component that was part of the delivery. This way, I am free to examine the "something" & decide if I want to change anything about my part or my beliefs. I may do this immediately, or decide to wait. Then, I might simply thank the other person for bringing this to my attention & to let them know that I'll think about it. This moves me out of a defensive position, into one of maturity & self-control.


I sense my personal pain & work with it directly to heal my deepest wounds. I have choices in any & all conflicts. I'm the writer, director & producer of my own life. ...Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht

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Winning the Mind Game - A Total Sports Advantage - Book & Interactive Self-Hypnosis CD

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Failure Words...

Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was...Richard L. Evans

Related Words - default, delinquency, dereliction, neglect, oversight, laxity, negligence, remissness, slackness, indifference, unconcern

What we think or what we entertain is what we get & the same goes double for failure. Unfortunately failure mindsets are a dime a dozen. You don't have to look far to find others or more importantly, in yourself. It's rather amazing that we succeed at anything, given our usual interior weather. Look closely; it's usually either raining, storming, blowing, snowing, cloudy or completely parched & drought-ridden.

Thoughtout this blog I've reminded you to look for emotional carriers, especially those that attempt to color your life with negative mind states. Pay attention to the word attempt. No one can do anything without your permission. Mind-underline that for yourself, for most of us tend to forget it. Just because someone in your environment is coloring in a negative fashion, you do not have to breathe it in. It's like second-hand smoke. You do not have to breathe it in. You have choices.

Even though I can't see or hear you, I have a good idea as to what you are thinking right now, the reason being that in the past, I've said most of those things to myself or to others in relation to myself OR I've heard it from others in my work as a clinical hypnotherapist.

So, let me tell you this...

Changing mindsets is a skill, just like anything else. Think for a moment about how many things you have learned from the time you were just a baby. Take a mind-visit back to your early childhood & find the time when you simply didn't entertain failure. That time is go find it & then sense yourself reconnecting. However you might like to imagine it. Notice that during this time you were also independent of the negative-crayoning of others. Take your time in this area of self-exploration for it is very important & can work to change your life experiences considerably.

In short, you need to know that you can achieve things. You can work through perceived failure. You can recognize negative-emotional crayoning of others & that you can choose not to accept it.

Now about the definition of failure.... I'm sure that you already know that failing at something just means that you haven't figured out how to do it yet. That is all that it is. Now others might have more to say about it, but again, that is their negative crayoning & you already know what to do about that. In case you have forgotten, or haven't read those blog entries....when you don't want to accept negative-crayoning your task is to ...

1. notice or wake-up
2. breathe from center & relax your body
3. release the image or emotion
4. place a new mind program on your mind screen

When you experiencing a perceived failure, it's time to go back to the drawing board. For most of us, we take too big a chunk & so of course, we tend to choke. Now what would you do if you were choking on something? Well, if it were me, I'd do whatever I had to do to get the offender out of my mouth asap.

It's the same with anything else. Break the perceived failure into pieces & study them independently. It's best to do this in deep relaxation. That way, your own subconscious mind will assist you in finding a better way. If you experience mind-confusion when you try to do this.....the chunk is simply too big OR you haven't quieted the mind sufficiently.

Most of you have heard about your intuition or inner knowing. That is your subconscious mind in action. In order to take full advantage of it, you must relax very deeply & then you will be gifted with eureka break-through thoughts or ideas or serendipity. Nothing is free in life. As I tell my patients, the piper must be paid. If you want your own mind to assist you, it is up to you to change your internal weather system.


I wake to my perceived failures & mind-edit them easily. I am aware of my internal weather systems. I stay keenly aware of negative-crayoning & make good choices for myself. ...Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht

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Winning the Mind Game - A Total Sports Advantage - Book & Interactive Self-Hypnosis CD